-as told to EpSuen staff writer
~ I’m a 29 year old married father of three. My wife and I both work successful jobs, and while we both deal with a relative amount of stress, it doesn’t seem like we would have any more anxiety than the average person.
On Christmas Eve my wife and kids were sound asleep and I found myself alone in the living room staring at my phone. One thing led to another and I ended up on a porn site doing you know what. Unknown to me, my wife had quietly come out of the bedroom and snuck up behind me and intentionally leaped out to startle me. My pants were down and she scared me to the point where I fell off the sofa. Suffice to say, she left the room laughing and I ended up sleeping on the sofa, too stubborn to get into bed with the woman that I haven’t had sex with in almost a year.
Our youngest is six months old. Having had two other children prior, I knew the sex drops off after having a kid, but its been a year….and I’m only 29!
My wife wasn’t mad that I was looking at porn, and I feel like maybe she should be, since if she was making love to me I wouldn’t have to be looking at other women.
Is this what life is like once you have children? Sex drops off until the kids get older? Is this how it always was? My parents love my wife and they love our children, but my mom and dad lead busy lives and don’t have much time to give us when it comes to babysitting as grandparents. I told my wife yesterday that when we become grandparents I’m going to devote myself to the grandchildren and make sure the parents have plenty of time to be away from the kids.
I’m also not mad at my wife. She is a busy mother, and even if she didn’t work a job, simply caring for three children under the age of 6 is a full time job all on its own. We have a nanny that stays at the house during the day so we don’t have to put the little ones in day care, but by the time we get home, we feel like dropping the kids off to be watched by yet another babysitter seems too neglectful. After all, they haven’t seen us all day, and we want them to at least know who their parents are!
I think I’m depressed. Not because of a mental illness. Not because I don’t love my wife. Not because I’m ungrateful for my children. I love my wife and children and job…..I love everything about my life….except one thing; the lack of sex.