~Friday night I went to the movies with three of my girlfriends and it was one of the typical sex comedies that us Millennial women gravitate toward the same way we can’t help but buy overpriced lattes at Starbucks.
After the film the topic was relationships and sex, me being the newly single woman asked how often the three of my friends got it on with their significant others.
We are a close knit group so the question, while personal, wasn’t too obtrusive, besides, we are the social network generation and we overshare everything personal from our lives. Surprisingly, none of my friends had sex more than once a week, and often it tended to be every other week. Granted, two of them have children, but the way the movies and media portray us millennials you would think we do nothing but have never ending sex and then bitch about being oppressed.
I’ve suspected for some time that people aren’t honest when they fill out research study questionaires when it comes to the personal details of their lives. As much as psychologists believe their studies take into account a certain margin of error, nonetheless, people don’t necessarily view themselves as they really are. We tend to have a perception of ourselves that inflates our true self quite a bit higher than reality.
Anything short of putting spycams in our houses like Big Brother, I doubt we will truly know the true sex lives of modern Americans, but I suspect our lives aren’t very different from our ancestors. Whether its due to modern technology and innovation or some other factor, we tend to view ourselves as being very different from women in the old world, yet ultimately we are still every bit as human as women in previous generations. Sure we’ve gained the right to vote, but we are still women.
The same goes for men. As much as we’d like to think they are more sexual or more ‘oversexed’ than previous generations of men, they too are still men.
We all know that sex sells, and perhaps that is why so much of the media, hollywood, and even science, tends to overestimate and inflate the role of sex in society. Publish a research study on sex and you will get a lot more social media buzz than a research study about ethics in farming. Sex is flashy, sex can be succulent, sex is fun, sex is hot. Sex is all those things and more. But at the end of the day, we spend more of our daily and weekly life not having sex!
I don’t mean to denigrate sex. Quite the opposite. I love sex, maybe too much. I’m trying to take a little time off from having sex, and even in the midst of my self imposed sex fast I find myself writing about it!
The next time I hear some study that says the average millennial woman is having sex X times per week, or hooks up with X amount of dudes, I’m going to take it with a grain of salt and remember, life isn’t simply about sex; there is a whole lot more.
*stock image from Amos Bar-Zeev unsplash.com